Archives

Caring for Your Hurting Teen — Comments Off on When Your Teen Comes Home From the Mental Health Hospital
12
May 25

When Your Teen Comes Home From the Mental Health Hospital

LeavingHospital.jpg“As with any illness, a brief setback may occur once the support of the hospital is removed.”

When a loved one has surgery, you bring him home with a list of after-care instructions: keep the arm elevated; apply ice every hour. Whenever I brought a teen home from the behavioral health hospital, I found myself asking, “What do I do now?” My teen was usually shaky at best, sometimes still on the verge of being suicidal. As with any illness, a brief setback may occur once the support of the hospital is removed. The first few days will probably be the hardest. Many teens find it jolting to leave the calm consistency of the hospital. Keep the following in mind to ease the re-entry:

  • Don’t plan any kind of a celebration. Your teen will not be up for it.
  • Don’t invite anybody over. If your teen wants to see a friend, that’s okay, but keep well-meaning relatives away for these first few days.
  • Make their favorite meal.
  • Try to establish set meal times and stick to them. Your teen will appreciate the predictability.
  • Try to structure the days as much as possible, mimicking the hospital’s use of repetition to de-stress your teen’s brain. For example: eat; go for a walk or a short outing; do homework; rest. Repeat. I know this may be a tall order, but the more you can structure the day, the easier the transition will be and the quicker the recovery will be.
  • If there is tension in your house that you cannot eliminate, a grandparent or other relative may be willing to let your teen come and stay for a while.
  • Secure the environment, even if your teen has not been suicidal. Put away knives and lock up medicines. Guns of any kind have no place in your home anymore. Taking these measures will give everybody, including him, peace of mind.
  • Above all, stay strong and know that you will get through this.
Facing Your Teen’s Illness — Comments Off on What I Learned About Mental Illness from the Movies
09
May 25

What I Learned About Mental Illness from the Movies

There are plenty of movies out there that deal with the subject of mental illness. Although I sometimes find the prospect of watching such a movie depressing, I think it’s good to get a different take on the subject. Here is a list of some of the movies I have seen and what I learned from them as a caregiver:

Strange Voices is listed first because it is my favorite. Valerie Harper plays a mom whose daughter is struck with schizophrenia while at college. Somehow, without seeming like a documentary, this movie hits all the issues: stigma, isolation, the effects of de-institutionalization, marriage strain, the limitations of health insurance, and our appalling legal system. It is an incredibly realistic portrayal of what a family goes through when schizophrenia affects a child. It is also heartwarming and ends on a note that is both realistic and hopeful. Truly a masterpiece despite its dated quality.

Benny & Joon with Mary Sue Masterson and Johnnie Depp showed me how a caregiver can become dependent upon the illness. In the movie, Benny looks after his sister Joon, who has had schizophrenia for so many years that he can’t let go of his role even after she no long needs him. As a caregiver, I have been cautioned to maintain a life of my own, and now I see why.

A Beautiful Mind with Jennifer Connelly and Russell Crowe showed me how a caregiver who refuses to give up can restore a life. Connelly nurtures her husband back from schizophrenia. He is luckier than most because his distinguished past and an accepting environment keep him safe and stable.

Black Swan provides an unusual take on the caregiver. I found it interesting that my friends who saw the movie regarded the mother of the girl with schizophrenia as being a cruel and manipulative stage mom. As the mother of a girl with schizophrenia, I saw her completely differently. To me, she seemed warped by the demands of the illness, having held the pieces together for so long that she needed everything to go just right lest it all fall apart. Of course, it does, and the performances of both Natalie Portman (the daughter) and Barbara Hershey (the mother) are brilliant.

Proof features Gwyneth Paltrow as a devoted daughter looking after her brilliant father, played by Anthony Hopkins, who has schizophrenia. The daughter deliberately undermines her own brilliance as she endeavors to return her dad to his former state of greatness. It is a reminder that caregivers can lose themselves in helping a beloved relative. If you love Gwyneth Paltrow (and who doesn’t love Gwyneth Paltrow?) you must see this movie.

Silver Linings Playbook depicts a young man struggling with bipolar disorder following a mental break after his wife has an affair. His well-meaning mother decides that he has been in the hospital for too long and brings him home. His father is stunned by this but insists that he only wants to make sure he is all right. However, we soon learn that mom and dad are not all right themselves. Dad has obsessive compulsive disorder and Mom vacillates between playing along with Dad and trying to keep him from doing too much damage. In-between the two is Pat, the son, who is trying to find a way back to his former life despite his parents’ problems.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →