“Music expresses a teen’s emotions and identity, yet often parents are critical of their teen’s taste in music and it feels like a personal rejection to them.”As teens mature, they need to separate from their parents and allow their peer group to take precedence. But if you and your teen don’t seem to share anything these days, there is a simple method to bring you closer to your teen and improve trust. Simply put, make yourself useful.
First, identify what your teen loves. You may be able to list several things; for example, video games, music, and wrestling. Second, figure out a way to become involved on a regular basis without annoying your teen. Music is often an easy choice. Music expresses a teen’s emotions and identity, yet often parents are critical of their teen’s taste in music and it feels like a personal rejection to them. You can overcome this lack of understanding by listening to your teen’s music whenever you are in the car together and offering to take them and a friend to some concerts. The “concert mom” or “concert dad” is always looked upon by teens with a friendly eye. In fact, it is pretty much universally agreed that they will one day have a special place in heaven.
If your teen enjoys a sport, it helps to not only attend games but also to join the parent booster club, providing rides and ordering team sweatshirts. The underlying message to all of this is that you care about the things that matter to your teen. Note the difference between that and knowing what’s best for a teen. Teens don’t care what you think is best for them. If you can make yourself a supplier of his social world, you will be silently appreciated.
One note of caution. If your teen’s passion is something that is easiest to fulfill by spending money, hold back. For example, if your teen wants to go on a guided trip through Europe that costs $5,000, help him organize a garage sale or other event to raise funds. Don’t write the check.
